I just found out I’m a Two.
That probably doesn’t mean anything to most of y’all, but don't
worry; it didn’t mean anything to me either until a few months ago.
Probably everyone, even if they don’t put any stock in it,
knows their Astrology Sign (I’m a Leo, in case you wanted to know), and, if
you’re Japanese, you probably know your blood type, too (I’m A-, would you
believe it?!). However, it’s quite possible that you don’t know your Enneagram
type.
I’m not even going to pretend to explain the Enneagram here;
you can kindly go to www.enneagraminstitute.com yourself. All I’ll say is, it
seems to me like a more detailed version of the ol ‘Myers-Briggs personality
test, but with additional social and spiritual implications. They’ve been
studying it at church recently, which is what got me interested in it to begin
with.
Twos are
empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and
self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing.
They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing
things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with
possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best:
unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.
Sounds pretty accurate to me. Both good and bad.
Finding out that I’m a Two has helped me understand a few basic things
about myself and how I relate to others.
First. If I want to sit at home all by myself and not talk with anyone,
I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. The joy of being a Two means that I
give of myself ALL. THE . TIME. I do it at work, in my personal relationships,
and in my family. It’s not a bad thing; Twos put others first. It’s what we do
and we’re happy to do it. But it can become bad when we lose ourselves in the
process. Once in a while, we need to shut the door, turn off the phone, get off
the internet, and just relax. Other people do it without feeling bad. I shouldn’t
feel guilty, either.
This leads us to a very important point: I AM NOT AS
IMPORTANT AS I THINK I AM. What a revolutionary thought. That the world will
continue spinning happily on its axis if I say, “Sorry, I just want to stay
home tonight.” If I don’t respond to a text within 30 seconds. If I buy a
pre-made cake instead of making one from scratch. I am not that important, and
neither is what I do.
Back in January I Googled my 2013 Yearly Horoscope just to
see what kind of nonsense they’d say about what to expect this year (no, I’m
not getting married). But damned if they didn’t hit the nail on the head with a
couple of other things: namely, that 2013 would be a year of complete
metamorphosis and self-analysis. Bing! We have a winner!
I’m still on the super huge Self Improvement kick I started
back in 2012. Bigger than anything else has been this unrelenting thirst to connect with God. I’ve never
felt it before. Even during the height of Jaimie’s Christian Era (1996-2009,
give or take a few years), I never felt like all I wanted to read was the Bible or the only thing I wanted to do was pray. Not even a little bit. And yet
here I am, unashamedly basking in the confusion and incomprehension that I am
connected to something much greater than I. I will sit and meditate for 20
minutes and come away (most days) knowing that God has been with me. It’s been
wonderful.
If you’ve only met me post-2009, it might seem odd to hear
me say I am searching for God, especially if we haven’t talked in a few months.
But if we’ve known each other for longer, it might make sense that I’d try to
find my way back. Of course, some of the patterns that have been deeply
ingrained in me (God is an angry unsmiling judge waiting for the opportune
moment to send your sorry sinning ass to Hell) are changing for the truer
version that God is Indeed Love. A girl I knew in Japan (an American girl,
completely non-religious herself) told me that it’s usually true that one finds
a stronger spirituality the second go around. In my case, at least, she was
right.
OK, just a little bit more and then I’ll go.
As well as reading plenty of spiritual texts, I’m also going
through Simplify Your Life by Elaine
St. James and Romancing the Ordinary
by Sarah Ban Breathnach (what a name). Despite the fact that SYL was written in
1994 and thus has constant references to how indulgent the 80s were, and how if
only you would remove call waiting from your house phone and get rid of your
CAR PHONE—yes, your CAR PHONE, remember those? I don’t—anyway, if you would do
these steps, you would live more happily. Despite its datedness, it still has a
lot of practical tips that I enjoy. And RTO puts into words many of the
thoughts I’ve often had: that it’s not about having the best of things, but
learning to savor the simple ones. Amen, sister.
As I was reading, I started thinking about the things I do to simplify and romance my own ordinary life. By no means exhaustive, here are a couple of things that help me:
#1: I don’t check Facebook every ten minutes like I used to.
#2: I don’t text as much as I used to. I’ve become a big fan
of telephone conversations.
#3: I stretch, run, walk, do yoga, dance, and go to Zumba class as
much as possible. I WANT TO MOVE.
#4: I put puzzles together. You can think I’m lame ‘cos I said
that. That’s cool. I won’t take it back, though. I love putting puzzles
together.
#5: I visit the Farmer’s Market. I cook.
#6: I find shapes in the clouds. It connects me to my childhood.
#7: I drive with the windows down. Most days.
#8: I pay attention to the time of day. I love how the light
filters into my house through the trees at sunset, and how the morning light
slants in through the kitchen window.
#9: I don’t use the A/C unless absolutely necessary. I love
to sit in my house with the windows wide open. It feels like summer in North Carolina,
and that’s something I’ve missed.
#10: I meditate. It keeps me grounded.
Thanks for listening. See y’all next time.
