Telephone (not the song)

Typhoon Number Nine is making its way across Japan, but so far it has brought nothing to these far reaches of Gunma besides a light drizzle. The principal let us go home early today, but I wonder what for, since nothing is really happening.

In other news, I have that shaky nervous feeling from having done something I'm not good at! I remember all during my time at the CNNC, I would tell my clients, "You've got to learn to do it for yourself; I can't do it for you all the time." So I'm telling myself that whenever I have to do something that I don't really want to do. Like make telephone calls in Japanese.

Telephone calls are the worst in a foreign language, because you have nothing to go on, no eye contact, no hand gestures, no sign language, just a voice and your ear. I had received a call from Nitori, the sorta-kinda Bed Bath & Beyond where I ordered my couch from, and I needed to call them back. Luckily, the girl who helps me speaks English, but I had to get to her first.

Also luckily, I had just, this very day, learned how to make a telephone call! One of my JTEs (Japanese Teachers of English) and I were discussing next week's lesson plan, which just happens to be on telephone conversation: Hello, is so-and-so there, I'm sorry he's not, do you want to leave a message, etc. I wanted to know how to do all of that in Japanese. We only got to saying "This is Jaimie, is so-and-so there?" but that was good enough for what I had to do today! (Side note: there are three, count 'em, three different ways to ask if whoever is there, depending on hierarchy and respect level. Actually, I think it's more like fifty, but Ms. Ishimatsu only taught me three. "Iru" for low level, "imasu" for middle level, and "irashaimasu" for top level. Also, they do the Spanish thing and say "I am Jaimie" instead of "This is Jaimie", and "imasu" actually means "to exist/to be", so you're really asking if Ms. So-and-So exists or not. Fun times.)

I digress. I called Nitori, my stomach churning anxiously. When the helpful sales assistant answered the phone, I said politely, "Moshi-moshi, is [name of the sales lady] there?" in Japanese. He said something I didn't understand, but I caught "namae" (name) so I thought maybe he was asking my name. I said my name. He put me on hold. Music began to play.

A little while later, the same, or maybe a different, sales assistant came on the phone. And then I said something I didn't think I could: "I'm sorry, I don't speak Japanese, but [name of sales lady] speaks English. Is she there, please?" "Oooohhhhh!" was the reply. "Of course!" And after the music played a little longer I got to talk to her. (This is the same girl whose number I got two weeks ago when I ordered the sofa. We're going out on Friday night with her friends, and I'm excited.)

When I hung up, I still had to make one other phone call, which didn't go quite as well. The microwave I bought a few weeks ago from a thrift store has suddenly decided to quit working. It just beeps at me angrily every time I ask it to heat up my food. I need to know if I can return it, even though I don't have the receipt. However, when I called and asked politely (twice) if anyone there spoke English, the sales assistant gave me a rude "inai" (not a very nice way of saying "there isn't). So I said thank you and hung up.

It's the little things that make life in a foreign country so fun. Remember back in the States when I was competent? When I didn't freak out about telephone calls? When I was on the phone all day long in English and Spanish? I am suddenly back to zero, feeling that same nervousness that I'm sure invaded all of my clients when I told them to call themselves and ask if anyone spoke Spanish. (Somebody speak-a Es-spanish?) Now I am that girl. Oh, living here is good for my self-esteem!